Miles To Go Before I Sleep

Starting a degree when nearing release can provide some continuity once you are out of prison but, as our scholar Tish describes, there are many, many arduous and isolating challenges to navigate before you feel in control of your life and your future. Education plays a key part but so too do other outlets, including working as an apprentice with Fine Cell Work on embroidery (pictured left)

 

 

 

[…] The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep

Robert Frost (1923)

When I was released from prison in August 2024, I already knew I wanted to build a different future for myself. Two years earlier, while still in prison, I had started taking steps towards that future by commencing a degree with the Open University. I had no idea it was possible to work towards a degree while in prison: I leapt at the opportunity. This was a chance for me to create a strong foundation and work towards something positive.

I undertook my BA (Hons) in English Literature on a part-time basis, which meant completing one module per year. It wasn’t easy in such a tough environment, but the education staff in the prison, as well as some fantastic tutors at the Open University, supported me. One day, leading up to my release, I was in my prison cell listening to National Prison Radio. That was when I heard an advert for the Longford Trust: about how they support people like myself with their education.

A helpful prison officer printed off the forms for me and I sent off my scholarship application to the Longford Trust for a scholarship and was accepted. Upon my release, I decided to increase my studies to a full-time pathway, meaning I would now complete two modules per year towards the six needed for my degree. But education became more than just gaining a qualification. It gave me structure, purpose and something positive to work towards during some of the most uncertain periods of my life.

‘I had to present as homeless to my local council’

The reality of rebuilding my life after prison was challenging. My release was only the beginning of that journey. I officially became a Longford Trust scholar a few weeks after I had moved from prison into approved premises in North London. This provided a supportive environment during my transition back into the community. I met Clare Lewis, the scholarship manager, at the British Library and instantly felt the support shine through that Longford could offer me.

Unfortunately, after my placement ended at the approved premises, I had to present as homeless to my local council. There was no available accommodation, not even a bed at my approved premises because my space had been immediately filled by someone else. That night, I had to sleep on the sofa in the approved premises’ living room.

The next day I was told to pack a bag of essentials, collect a travel warrant and make my way to Bristol to stay in another approved premises. I’d never been to Bristol. Travelling there alone was overwhelming. As someone on the spectrum who lives with complex mental health, sudden changes, uncertainty and lack of control are incredibly challenging.

‘I spent Christmas 2024 alone in my room, unable to face other people’

I spent around a month there and felt institutionalised again. Christmas 2024 was particularly hard. Instead of celebrating with loved ones, or at Church, I spent the day alone in my room, struggling emotionally and unable to face other people. Even in prison, there was a sociable aspect to Christmas.

Despite everything, I carried on. I kept submitting assignments and working towards my goals. I’d keep reminding myself: You’ve come too far to give up now. In January 2025, I was moved again, this time to CAS-3 accommodation (temporary and semi-independent) on the coast i Hampshire: another journey and another adjustment to a completely new environment. A few weeks later, I was moved again, to a different CAS-3 property, a self-contained studio flat in Buckinghamshire.

I was closer to my support network and had a small period of feeling somewhat ‘settled’, but I continued to face uncertainty about housing and my mental health reached a crisis point. I was struggling with the pressure of not knowing where I would go next and had little-to-no say regarding the decisions around my livelihood. It became a turning point. With support around me, I was able to refocus on rebuilding and progression.

‘Opportunities that I never imagined’

After another short stay at the Bristol approved premises, my local council accepted their duty to house me and I was offered temporary accommodation, where I remain. My life has become so much more settled.

An enduring factor throughout this journey has been the incredible support of charitable organisations. The Longford Trust, ID Essence and Fine Cell Work have all provided vital support. The Open University had also contributed towards a laptop while I was in approved premises.

I have a fantastic Longford Trust mentor, with whom I enjoy meeting up regularly. She doesn’t pretend to know exactly what it is like for me, but she listens without judgement and is another person in my corner rooting for me.

ID Essence has supported me throughout my journey; from my time in prison, meeting me at the gate on the day of my release, and through my ongoing resettlement into the community. They provided practical and emotional support which has been a lifeline. Their service has both encouraged and guided me to remain focused on my goals.

Fine Cell has given me opportunities that I never imagined. Recently, I spoke publicly at a Fine Cell Work event about my journey as an apprentice, sharing my experiences and the importance of opportunities after prison. I am also a member of the charity’s Board Advisory Group, where lived experience can help shape discussions and provide insight into the realities of prison, rehabilitation and resettlement. Being trusted to contribute my perspective in this way has been incredibly rewarding and has shown me how valuable lived experience can be in influencing positive change.

Their ‘Open The Gate’ programme has also connected me with creative and cultural experiences that may not have been available to me otherwise. In 2025 we collaborated with artist Ciara Neufeldt on a ceramic exhibition for her residency at the V&A Museum, creating ceramic tiles that became

part of a water wishing fountain installation. Perhaps one of the most sentimental moments was the Fine Cell Work apprentices’ Christmas celebration in December 2025. After the loneliness and difficulties of Christmas 2024, being part of a community, sharing a meal and celebrating together was incredibly special.

‘Each opportunity and each person on my journey has been important’.

Looking back, I can see how important each opportunity and each person has been. My journey has not been straightforward but becoming a Longford Trust scholar is not only recognition of what I have achieved. It is a reminder of what is possible when people are given opportunity, encouragement and support.

My past is an important part of my story, but it does not have to define my future. And in line with the ethos of the Longford Trust, I have experienced first-hand how education and opportunities can transform lives. Today, I am approaching the completion of my English Literature degree. In the past year alone I have gained qualifications through Fine Cell Work, spoken publicly about my experiences, contributed to creative projects and become part of communities that believe in second chances.

I am now considering postgraduate study, another ambition that once felt like a pipe dream. My journey is far from complete, but as I reflect on how far I have come, I am grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given.

If you have spent time in prison and have an ambition to go to university, or if you know someone who does, please contact Clare Lewis so she can explain how the Longford Trust could support you.