Tag: career

My journey back from gambling addiction

Author: | 17 Jul 2024

Our 2024 graduate Sian McLear was 26 and had a successful career in finance when a night out at the bingo catapulted her into gambling addiction so strong that it ultimately saw her jailed. As she starts her post-graduate career with the Beacon Charitable Trust, the charity she credits with saving her life, she reflects on how she embraced her second chance though higher education with our help.

I can’t really pin point how or why my gambling turned harmful. I just remember going to the bingo with colleagues and having to open an online account to be able to attend. That’s when the promotions / hounding started. I had a significant win and an offer of a free bet or a stake of no more than £1. I remember thinking, ‘I’m going to win big again I will, I will’.

Before I knew it, I was secretly staying up all night playing slots on my phone while my husband was in bed asleep. I was physically incapable of stopping until every last penny in my bank account had been spent. I would then lie awake worried sick about how I was going to get all the money back.

Secrets and lies

I couldn’t tell anyone what I was doing. Just the thought of it made me physically sick. I started getting pay-day-loans and credit cards, but instead of covering the money I’d lost, I believed I’d be able to make more. So, the cycle continued. I’d got myself in that much of a mess I couldn’t see a way out of the debt which is when I turned to what I believed was the only way out: I stole money from work.

To me, though, it wasn’t stealing. I was just borrowing it and had every intention of paying it back. But when I ‘won big’ this carried on for three years on a daily basis with my mental health drastically declining. I was living a lie and nobody knew. I was having to hide my gambling and the state of my mental health from everyone around me.

‘My world fell apart’

I didn’t even want to gamble anymore. I enjoyed nothing about it, but yet I couldn’t stop. I thought about getting a new job, hoping it might help stop the stealing. I did not want to be doing what I was doing any more. It was causing me to self-harm. I hated myself and everything about me. Something had to give: on the day I found out I was pregnant with my son, I was sacked from my job and my world fell apart.

The scariest time of my life was waiting to find out when I would be going to court/prison. By this time my beautiful son George had been born. The fear of being taken away from him was terrifying. There were a couple of times I contemplated suicide. One specific time I drank half a bottle of my dad’s liquid morphine, not because I wanted to die, but because I wanted to be able to sleep and make everything go away.

I needed help but the doctor prescribed antidepressants for my addiction. As (at the time) I was pregnant, I didn’t want to take them. Thankfully, through my own efforts, I came across the Beacon Counselling Trust, a charity offering free support to those suffering with gambling-related harm. The support I received greatly helped to quell my fears and prepare for prison.

One bad choice away from disaster

I made a promise to myself that I would turn my situation into a positive one. I realised that we are all only one bad choice/mistake away from turning our lives upside down, and that it’s not the end. It does not mean this has to be our path going forward. It can be a new the start of a new beginning.

Whilst in prison, there were certainly days I felt like giving up but I knew that, if not for me but for my son, I was going to make something out of it. I decided I wanted to study, to help other people like myself and be able to make a difference.  I decided on a university degree. I was put in touch with The Longford Trust who were invaluable in guiding me through the university application process whilst I was in prison.

In fact, throughout my studies the trust has not only provided me with financial help but peer support which, to be honest, was way more valuable than the money. Having one-to-one support with someone who knew and understood my situation gave me the courage to fight my anxieties and worries.

Second chances

Four years on, I have just graduated with a BA in criminology and psychology from Liverpool John Moores University and have successfully obtained a job as an Education and Brief Intervention Lead in none other than the charity that effectively saved my life, Beacon Counselling Trust. I am now helping those experiencing what I have been through, as well as fighting to prevent it happening.

Writing this is not about wishing to share my story. What I am hoping to do is inspire others to believe in themselves. A prison sentence is not the end. It can be used to learn and grow. With the help of organisations such as The Longford Trust, there’s no stopping us.

If you or anyone else you know might be suffering as a result of the issues raised in this article, do get in touch with Gambling Aware, a national network of organisations working together to provide free and confidential support for anyone impacted by gambling.

 

I haven’t got a clue what I’d be doing now otherwise

Author: | 12 Mar 2024

Current scholar David Shipley was 38 and half way through a sentence for fraud. More and more, his thoughts were turning to life after release. His offence meant his previous career was closed to him forever. Here he explains how overcoming his fears and embracing education in prison opened the door to a new future.

The Covid lockdown made prison life even more dull than usual. I ran laps, lifted weights and tried to pass the time by writing. I knew I enjoyed writing, but I’d always thought formal study was a waste of time. Writing was just something you could do or couldn’t, but I had all the time in the world.

And so, I researched courses and carefully wrote out an application for a prestigious Creative Writing degree. People who graduated had a good chance of going on to decent, paid work as writers. I didn’t meet the academic requirements, but they assured me all applications would be considered, so I diligently filled in all the forms.

Two weeks later I received a standard rejection letter, telling me that I didn’t meet the academic requirements of the course’. I felt terrible. I’d set my heart on this degree. It was going to give me a new future. And now it wasn’t. I was dejected and defeated, wondering why everything was against me.

It’s not only about having the right qualifications

My mum helped. She told me, ‘it’s their loss. Just apply somewhere else’. She was right. I decided not to give up and found a degree offered entirely online by the University of Hull. In most of the prison system, online study is not allowed, but I was in an Open prison at the time and, with Covid lockdown happening, there was more flexibility than usual about allowing some internet access for education.

Hull made it clear that they were more interested in each person’s life story and reasons for studying rather than qualifications or experience. They asked for an application letter and examples of my writing. I sent them an explanation of my crime, told them I was a prisoner, and how important writing was to me. Within days I got an acceptance.

 The course started in a week. Suddenly the reality hit me. I hadn’t written an essay in 20 years. Would I be able to keep up? Would they treat me differently for being a criminal? Would they all be kids? I considered withdrawing from the course before it started, but I didn’t, and from day one they could not have been more welcoming.

Staff and fellow students were curious. I was the only prisoner on the course (alongside a retired prison officer from New Zealand) but we were a pretty varied group. Ages ranged from early 20s to mid-70s, and students ‘attended’ from every part of the world.

I almost forgot I was in prison

I loved that course. Each day I’d leave my house block to ‘go to university’, and spend the day learning, reading and writing. I’d almost forget I was in prison. On the course we got brilliant feedback, and I came to realise that writing is as technical and teachable as mechanics, carpentry or computer programming. I learnt how to write fast and to a publishable standard and found myself getting better marks than I expected. As the course went on, they went up.

It wasn’t all easy, though. Even in an open prison, there’s a lot of nonsense. Fewer internet connections than prisoners studying online at that Covid moment in time meant time to work was strictly rationed. I often felt at a disadvantage compared to the other students who could pop online whenever they needed to check a source, order a new book, or just chat with the other students. One thing I did have, though, was time. In the evenings I read course texts, made notes, and thought about the next assignment.

 Studying gets harder post release

 After release, in some ways it got harder. I had an assignment due two weeks after I left prison. I just couldn’t face it. My life felt unstable, unmoored. When I emailed the university to explain, they couldn’t have been more supportive. They didn’t ask for documents or proof. They just said ‘have another month’.

Even with the distractions of a new life outside, social media and friends to catch up with, I finished my degree, securing a merit. Then began the slow grind of pitching for writing work. I now knew I could write. I just had to persuade other people. Inside Time was the first place to publish me. Then I began to pick up more commissions: at the Spectator; with CapX; and even some American publications. Being able to write fast, and to deadlines, helped a lot.

Where I have got to so far

 To my surprise, I realised that I wanted to keep studying. So in September of 2023, I started a PhD at the University of Southampton. I am researching the impact on children of having a parent in prison. Combining my writing career (@ShipleyWrites) and the PhD means I’m pretty busy, but I get to do interesting, enjoyable work most days. I feel so grateful.

 I haven’t got a clue what I’d be doing now if I hadn’t started that Creative Writing degree in prison. And it would have been so easy to give up when I got that rejection letter, or to succumb to my fears just before starting at Hull. I’m so happy I didn’t.

My degree has given me a career after prison, a sense of purpose, and a path for the second half of my life. We’re all capable of more than we realise. A degree could really change your future, as my experience shows. Why not give it a try?

The Longford Trust offers around 30 new scholarships each year for the duration of a degree course. To find out more, go to our website or contact Clare Lewis, our scholarship manager.

With great power comes great responsibility

Author: | 13 Oct 2023

One year into starting work as a Probation Officer, our Longford Scholar graduate Lawrence shares some impressions about what he has seen first-hand – and the power of lived experience in probation

The first person to serve as a probation officer is not known for certain, though some sources record this as being the American bootmaker John Augustus, known affectionately as the ‘Father of Probation’. A campaigner for more lenient criminal sentences, Augustus believed rehabilitation was achievable through understanding, moral appeals, and kindness. As a result of his humanitarian actions in bailing and rehabilitating those convicted of offences, probationary programmes were eventually adopted by multiple states. Almost two centuries later, such services worldwide continue to operate with similar principles and objectives.

Working in the field

My work in the field of probation inevitably started long after Augustus’ death in 1859, but I tell my story because I am now a Probation Service Officer (PSO) with lived experience of prison and probation. In my role, I supervise low and medium-risk people on probation who are sent my way by the courts. I took up my post out of a belief that positive change is achieved when those with varying perspectives come together. I am committed to tailoring probation to the often-complex needs of those serving a sentence in the community, and I encourage engagement with people on probation as part of wider reform efforts. Furthermore, my past struggles are useful in the sense that I can guide others away from similar difficulties.

Above and beyond

I speak highly about probation, having seen the commitment of colleagues who go above and beyond for those whom they supervise (known as ‘PoPs’ – people on probation). Together, I and my colleagues work to support those serving a sentence in living a law-abiding and content life. My own time on probation, on post-prison licence, was a positive experience; my first officer in the community wrote a reference for me to undertake university studies. The following probation officers who supervised me were supportive of my continued endeavours, providing valuable guidance on my goals and how I could reach them.

Long and winding road

I have since spoken to one of my old officers who expressed only positive sentiments about my recent achievements. To get to where I am now, I had to study hard, volunteer my time, and work multiple jobs (some of which I severely disliked). I should stress there are multiple routes to this kind of role, and there is no correct path to take, just so long as that path does not include committing crime, which I can say from experience is no proper life. There is a wealth of talent residing in this country’s prisons, hidden away from the world like a diamond in the rough. There is always a need for talent, drive, creativity, and resilience in industry, and I am happy to say on record that some of the most impressive people I have come across in life have also experienced the emotional rollercoaster of a prison sentence.

What’s in a name

In recent times, the term ‘probation practitioner’ has been regularly substituted as a title for those in that responsible position (other titles include ‘reporting officer’ and ‘offender manager’; though, on the latter, the term ‘offender’ has been deliberately phased out within the service). I particularly like the inclusion of the term ‘practitioner’ because that word, by definition, means the holder of a role is actively engaged in their discipline. There is no half-heartedness at probation, though there is exhaustion and fatigue as a result of high caseloads and emotional stress.

Neither I nor my colleagues do this work for the money. The real reward is the sight of an empowered, optimistic character whose life may have been, at the time of receiving their criminal sentence, in a dire state. I have a capable colleague who speaks with joy about a book she received a mention in; the author of this book is a man whom she used to supervise on probation.

The past and the future

I am somebody who, having been confined by tall prison walls while serving a four-year sentence, does not feel defeated by societal boundaries. Even when my trusted confidants said I had no chance at this position of responsibility and should pick a new role to strive for, I ignored that advice and submitted my application anyway. I took my degree, earned with the valuable support of a Longford scholarship, and turned it into one of the most secure jobs I can think of – where I swiftly took on added responsibilities including representing probation at police and council forums – and was even published in the renowned Probation Journal. Even though I must remain impartial as a civil servant, I will not stop campaigning for reform of criminal records, and my advocacy of higher education opportunities for ex-prisoners continues. As an esteemed officer of the probation service, I see myself as a small part of the wider effort to break down the ‘us and them’ culture that is deep-rooted in the criminal justice system.

If you would like to share some thoughts or experiences on our Longford Trust blog page, contact Clare Lewis, our scholarship manager

Leave a Lasting Impression

Author: | 22 Feb 2023

Our scholar Rishi attended one of the workshops run the Trust’s Employability Project thinking he was pretty sorted out around finding a degree-level job on graduation. 

But he discovered he had a lot to learn and a lot to gain by coming along.

 

Recently I attended an employability workshop organized by the Longford Trust’s Employability team and led by Sam Smith, the CEO of PEPTalks. It was for me an incredibly valuable experience, offering insightful macro analysis of the job market with detailed micro analyses that catered to every participant whatever their career aspirations.

And so much valuable information was packed into such a short amount of time. The workshop did it all in a couple of hours!

Practical advice on the jobs market

Before going into such programmes and workshops I always think that, having already developed my CV with many experienced professionals, I have little to gain. But I am happy to report that, once again, I was wrong. Sam’s passion for helping individuals like me to succeed was evident throughout the workshop.  He provided a wealth of practical advice on how to get on in the job market, from refining a compelling personal narrative to identifying and showcasing our unique value propositions.

He also emphasised the importance of staying nimble and adaptable in today’s fast-changing job market and provided tools and strategies for doing so. All of this was delivered in an engaging and accessible manner, making it easy for every participant to grasp the essential concepts. As a follow-up to the workshop, there was specific advice tailored to each of us. It has left a lasting impression on me.

Tailor-made guidance

What impressed me most was how Sam managed to tailor his advice to each participant. Despite the time constraints and wildly different career aspirations, he managed to provide detailed and insightful analyses. His personalised attention made us all feel seen and heard, and the opportunity to learn from someone as experienced and knowledgeable was incredibly valuable.

I would also like to acknowledge the Longford Trust for organising this workshop and providing us with the opportunity to learn from such an experienced and knowledgeable speaker. As a Longford Trust scholar, I feel incredibly grateful for the opportunities to learn from people as knowledgeable as Sam. The Trust’s commitment to levelling the playing field for its scholars and giving us the opportunity to prove ourselves is truly inspiring.

Any Longford Scholars, past or present, wanting to follow in Rishi’s steps on one of our Employability training courses should contact Abi Andrews to find out more.

Lee running in Prague

How a paid internship proved a gamechanger

Author: | 10 Feb 2022

For graduates internships are a well-recognised route into a career, often providing that all-important introduction into a sector or profession which might otherwise seem closed. Whether it’s finance, accounting, engineering or journalism, a degree is significant but it is estimated that an internship improves the chances of securing a job by as much as three times.

At Longford Trust, as part of our new employability programme, we have bolstered efforts to partner with employers to provide these vital placements. The list of employers who scholars have worked with range from the heart of Whitehall (Cabinet Office) to policing (Office of West Midlands Police and Crime Commission) and charities (Justice; Justice Gap and the Criminal Justice Alliance).

The Criminal Justice Alliance (CJA) is now hosting its fifth Longford scholar intern and has become a beacon for others.

Artist and ex-scholar Lee Cutter helped the CJA run its annual awards last year. Lee and the CJA’s Communications and Engagement Officer Jamie Morrell talked about their experience….

Why was the timing right?

Lee: I guess previously I’d had 5 ½ years working with Koestler Arts in their events and exhibitions team and the CJA internship came at a perfect time. I’d left Koestler (based in London) to live in France a year before and moving in a pandemic, everything was in lockdown. I’d been unemployed for a year, unable to go out and speak with people, so my confidence had dropped quite a lot. So this internship came up and it was an opportunity to build my confidence, bring some skills with me in and also it was an opportunity to learn some new skills and work in a new team. I’d never done an internship before.

How much of a difference did it make that this was a paid internship?

It made a huge difference just knowing my input was valued in this way. People deserve to be paid for their work. To be honest I’m pretty sure most people would agree.

Tell us about what you worked on …

I worked on the CJA’s annual awards, which was held online due to the pandemic. The awards celebrate individuals and organisations helping make the criminal justice system fairer and more effective. There are media awards too which spotlight journalists, documentary makers and digital media champions who are improving public understanding of criminal justice and challenging misperceptions. Initially, I was encouraging people to nominate themselves or others. Through this process, I found out about new, brilliant things happening in the sector. I coordinated the entries for the judges and worked with Jamie and the video production team to deliver the online ceremony, broadcast live from a studio in London.

 Any testing moments?

Yeah, (laughs) there were moments. Technical ones, like when the award winners were struggling to join the live call. There were a couple of touch- and- go moments. Luckily, there was only one hiccup in the end with one award winner but it went smoothly on the whole. And to be honest I quite enjoy problem-solving, being in that moment.

For most of the internship you worked remotely, how was that?

I wondered how that would be but from the first day I felt so welcome in the team. I don’t even know if it was extra effort for the team, it was just them being themselves. To feel valued from the first day was great. We had lots of small meetings and they wouldn’t always be just work-focused, more like general conversations about your week, things like that. The little things which make you feel valued as a person. And the stuff you’d have if you were going into an office every day.

There was an unexpected bonus trip though, tell us about that…

Oh yeah, the trip to Prague! That certainly wasn’t in the job description. It all happened very fast. It was a knowledge exchange trip between Holland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia and England and we were exchanging learning about the different prison systems, what works, what doesn’t. I’d been working at the CJA for one week, and then I was off to Prague just as the borders were opening [with the lifting of Covid restrictions]. They were a brilliant few days. We visited an open prison, which had a garden and a small farm with a llama that we fed. It was very different from what we do – it was for around 32 people whereas our open prisons are a lot larger. There was a lot more 1:1 support.

We also took part in the Yellow Ribbon Run, a relay race which brings together people with convictions, people working in the criminal justice system and members of the public to raise awareness of the importance of second chances (I was pleased to beat Jamie’s time – she’s super competitive!)

What key new skills did you acquire at CJA?

It was a chance for me to bring in skills I’d had from before and use them in a new setting. But one thing I learned is that the criminal justice sector is bigger than arts and criminal justice. It’s been interesting learning about the different bubbles. And my writing skills had been lacking a bit. Jamie helped me improve in this area, showing me how I could cut down a 1,000 word award nomination into a short, punchy bio for the awards brochure while still doing justice to the great organisations.

So Jamie, what was it like working with Lee?

Jamie, Criminal Justice Alliance

Jamie: Lee’s obviously very talented, intelligent and thoughtful, which is a massive help.

But the key thing about the Longford internships for the CJA is that it’s not just about what we want to get out of the experience, it’s what the intern wants to get out of it too. Lee already had experience of running large exhibitions and handling submissions from lots of artists, which was useful in helping deliver the CJA Awards. But we want to have a conversation to find out what additional skills our interns would like to gain. Lee lacked confidence in writing. Actually, when I read his descriptions of the organisations for the brochure I thought they were very well-written, but I gave him some extra hints and tips to tighten things up and Lee made some tweaks and then it was ready for the brochure.

Lee has expertise both professionally and from his lived experience. He provided lots of fresh ideas and insights during his internship. These insights help the CJA team think about things in a slightly different way.

We also enjoyed having Lee’s artistic presence on the team. When our European partners visited London in November as part of the knowledge exchange programme, Lee gave us all a fascinating tour of the Koestler Arts exhibition. We also went to see his work in the Royal Academy – we were blown away by his intricate soap carvings!

If anyone’s thinking of doing an internship partnering with the Longford Trust– either as an intern or an employer- what is the real benefit?   

Lee: For me it was a gamechanger. My confidence grew, being part of such a nurturing team. If I made a mistake, I was able to talk about the mistake, we could develop on that, it was all about growing and learning. Who wouldn’t want that?

Jamie: Interns offer valuable expertise and a fresh perspective to your organisation and anyone who employs an intern with lived experience will not regret it.

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Inspired? If you’re an employer or a scholar interested in internship opportunities, we’d love to hear from you, scholars@longfordtrust.org.

The Criminal Justice Alliance has launched a new lived experience leadership programme and is recruiting a project manager with first-hand experience of the criminal justice system. For more click on the link here.